However, if the unfaithful partner is defensive about the infidelity or blames it on the partner, it is unlikely that the relationship rebounds from this betrayal. Work at it on your own or with a therapist to learn how to express your emotions. Talk to your partner, let them know what's going on with you and listen to what's going on with them. Every relationship has its rough patches. Or is it time to cut your losses and move on in separate directions? In the case that you discover your partner’s infidelity and they are defensive, blaming, or dismissive, it can be healthiest to move on from the relationship. "I'm suggesting a paradigm shift in the way we view relationships," de Marneffe says. Fortunately, there are some ways to figure out whether you’re just in a low point or whether you need to consider ending your relationship. But, eventually, as time wears on, the good times fade in even the best relationships. However, if your boredom is unceasing and you fantasize continually about being with someone new, then you need to think deeply about whether this is right relationship for you. Self-awareness and self-responsibility are critical ingredients to a successful marriage, de Marneffe says. Whether emotional or physical, infidelity can cause major conflict in a relationship. By Lianne Choo. "We get hung up on the idea of having a lot in common with a potential partner," she says. One great way to introduce the topic into your relationship: follow de Marneffe's suggestion and read the first chapter together with your partner. It's full of butterflies, sex (for some people), passionate kisses, long talks about your hopes and dreams, inside jokes that nobody else gets, and date nights that you literally cannot wait for. Rough patches suck, but they are also signs of a mature, complex relationship. If partners cannot agree on larger issues — which may include religion, political leanings, the importance of sex and monogamy to the relationship, whether or not to get married or have kids, how much emphasis to place on career, or where to live — then it may be very difficult for their relationship to progress. There is only so much bending that a relationship can take before it snaps like a dried up old twig. Boredom can be a signifier of a low point, or a harbinger of the end of the relationship, depending on the severity. If you are able to reconcile and move forward within a few days of a fight, then that is a good sign. The one thing I know for sure? Updated 2059 GMT (0459 HKT) March 9, 2018. … "Some divorcing couples understand each other better than some married couples do. In the past, marriage was often an economic arrangement based on a division of labor and child-rearing. Here, she shares some advice for couples trying to get out of midlife rough patches, as well as for younger couples hoping to avoid them altogether. If you take a trip or do something fun together, do you reconnect, or not? How do you come out of it? "You can say, 'I know that how I act affects you, I'm sorry, and I'm working on it,' " she says. Try to figure out whether you’re bored with the rut that your relationship has gotten into, or bored with your partner as a person. If you are going through a rough patch in your relationship and are looking for ways to mend it, I've got them below! When you and your partner have mismatched libidos, The Rough Patch: Marriage and the Art of Living Together, Turning 50: How to make the most of midlife, Periods of difficulty among couples are common and can be overcome, Communication, listening and changing yourself are steps in mending a broken relationship. But that doesn’t mean you should give up! Relationships can be difficult, and the majority of couples go through ups and downs as they determine whether they are compatible for the long haul. Maybe one of you has done or said something bad and the other is now trying to forgive them. Even if you're still in the process of working on your own issues, simply expressing that to your partner can make a difference in your relationship. You may be out of the honeymoon phase and you could be discovering traits about one another that you don’t like. Well, in a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies share how they came out of the rough patches in their relationships. Here are some ways to help you get through them. What's to be done when your relationship is in a rough patch? See the latest news and share your comments with CNN Health on Facebook and Twitter. Reaching out to a therapist can feel daunting, but it can often help you “unstick” yourself from a very stuck relationship. "We aspire to close, intimate marriages, but emotions can be complicated and inconvenient," she explains. For instance, if you tend to interrupt your partner or act dismissive of their feelings, you can acknowledge that you're aware of the problem and are trying to change. "Not every divorce is a failure," de Marneffe says. Ian Kerner is a licensed psychotherapist and sexuality counselor in New York City. It is normal for partners to have different views on life in many areas. According to de Marneffe, it's not only common but natural for today's couples to experience rough patches. Identify the Problems The very first step that you need to take when you are trying to work through a rough patch in a relationship is identify all of the problems in your relationship.

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